intercession

this weekend i prayed
from the depths of my soul
the rawness of my heart
this weekend i prayed

it's been a long time,
too long, since i prayed
most days i say, fuck it
there's no point, i'm alone
God either doesn't care
or isn't going to do anything
so why bother

but i've come to realize
that i'm amidst God's
blessed night,
and my creator has been
with me through it all

so where do i go from here?
i want to pray
but don't know how,
don't think i deserve it,
and don't know if it matters

so maybe, like in
every aspect of my life
i need you, others, anyone
to pray for me, on my behalf
because i can't do it
i can't do it on my own
whether i know you or not
you're there, maybe
in your own darkness and despair,
but maybe, like me,
you can pray for others,
but not for yourself
God you know our hearts,
why do You make this so hard?