more than i can handle

what am i supposed to do
with the millions of pieces
of me that i hate

the darkness that i despise
is my heart drowning
in the dark cold waters
of my sin, guilt, and shame

i cannot give them to you
because you would hate them too
my darkness isn't nearly
as pretty as i make it out to be

it's easy to describe
all that i hate that is me
in broad strokes that leave behind
no details only blackness

darkness that cannot be
penetrated by your words
or presence or stares
separates me from you

and that is ultimately
all i can handle
you over there

because you, here,
holding the dark brokenness
that is my heart
is more than i can handle