heavy

i don't know what to do
with the weight of so much
that is unknown yet known
all too well

it seems that it's holding
stronger pushing further
into the depths of darkness
that is unknown yet known
all too well

i come so close to giving in
if i let go i'll explode
so i hold on tighter
desperately grasping at control
like grains of sand slipping
through my clenched hands

tighter and tighter i squeeze
grinding my teeth and my soul
trying to regain control
desperate to prevent the impending
machination of anger and hate
that overwhelms me to the core

i am terrified of what i am
of what i've become
but where the fuck did it
all come from - this all
used to be so neatly buried
but now it weighs heavily
upon my back like the
weight of the world

the weight is so heavy that
i cannot bear it alone
yet i cannot bear it with you
all that is unknown yet
all that i have known
all too well