in 10 years...

at 18
I wondered what life would be like
at 28
I’d have a
great job
great house
a beautiful wife
and maybe kids

no worries
life would be so easy
when I was independent
on my own
free

at 28
I wonder what life is really like
at 28
I’m blessed to have a
great job
great house
a beautiful wife
and a gift of a kid

but there have been worries
~I’ve left my job and my home
~held tight to my wife
~as we’ve lost two kids
~struggled to pay the rent
~make ends meet
~and sleep through the night
life has not been easy
now that I’m independent
on my own
but thankfully not alone

an ending

My mind is blurry, as are my eyes,
You've cared so well for me,
But its time to move on.

What will tomorrow look like,
As we pass by and say hello,
Will there be enought time to know each other?

So many thoughts leave me spinning,
Fighting within my own mind
Between my darkness & shame and your loving care.

Thank you for leaving
My mind blurry, as well as my eyes,
You've caredso well for me,
I'm saddened to move on.

birthdays

Woo hoo
Let’s celebrate
The life that has turned so sour
Why is it that we do

Am I a pessimist to think such things?
Am I wrong?

No.
I’m hurting.
And I want to escape.
Only I can’t.
I need you to help me because
I can’t do this alone.

numb

Make it all go away
I don’t want to know
I don’t want to remember
Drown it out

There is nothing good from this
Nothing worth the pain

Make it all go away
I don’t want to be better
I don’t want to remember
Drown it out

There is nothing good from this
Nothing worth the pain

Make it all go away
I can’t do this alone
I can’t make it better
Drown it out

There is nothing good
Numb my pain

questions

Why did you choose me?
Why did you pursue me?
Why did you ask?
Why didn’t you just take?
Why did you use me?
Why did you abuse me?
Why did you?

against the current

I'm trying to work as the flood hits,
Images envelope me, the current is enticing.
Why don’t I just let go, get swept away?
Numb my tired, aching body, meld with the cold waters.

Only I would get pulled under the current,
The quickly moving waters would overtake me.
Would I drown, who would be there for me?
It’s cold in the waters, when you’re holding fast
Against the current.