alive

still, seemingly untouched and unmoving,
a surface of unblemished glass ready to envelop,
freezing the air in my lungs, my body goes rigid

i run, as fast as i can, i'm sprinting to get away
from the depths of morning, the ache of life
the ground shakes beneath my thundering feet

i leap into the air, as if to take flight
i poise myself anticipating the rush of water
filled with excitement and fear i break the surface

i am alive

listening to silence

tonight i could sit and type for days
so filled with emotions desires fears
behind the words i'm reaching out
for i know you're there reading listening
to the words that flutter across my keys
my heart is open for someone anyone to see
desperate to be seen needed loved
please help me i can't face the silence
of the blinking cursor that is before me
are you there can you hear me hello
for fuck's sake answer me please
but that is not your role audience of mine
you're not there for my saving
but for a joined carthardic weeping perhaps hoping
that this too will pass that life will go on
i fucking hope it gets better than
listening to silence

survival

at times i get so angry
irate over nothing or
something so unimportant
but at that moment more
important than the world

when in the world
injustice occurs everyday
people without food water
children crying dieing
fighting for survival

and i'm pissed because
you didn't make room for me
as i drove our second car
onto the vast highway
consuming fossil fuels
poluting our environment

when in the world
injustice occurs everyday
people without shelter clothing
children orphaned starving
fighting for survival

yet here i sit
surrounded by luxury
all my physical needs met
my children safe and sound
fighting for survival?

forsaken

abandoned, alone, and afraid
left me disrupted, detached, desperately
searching for someone to soothe,
calm, connect with my calamity

instead an insurmountable
silence






desperate to disappear
i'm terrified, trembling,
anything to appease this ache,
this eternal emptiness

my god, my god why have you
forsaken






me